Business

Well, that title should actually say busy-ness, but I really don't think that is a word.  So let's move on shall we?  I have been busy, to say the least.  Whenever I would comment on how I wished Mark would be done with school so we could have some time, people would laugh and tell me that things only got busier.  I would nod and smile and then ignore them.  Things couldn't possibly get busier for my family, right?  Wrong!  I was wrong!  There, I said it, and I most likely won't ever say it again so it's a good thing it's in writing (this is defeating the purpose of me trying to convince my husband that he should listen to me because I am always right).  But, I digress, sorry.  Life got busier!  Mark graduated with his Master's degree last December with a crazy, pretty much insane wife, six small children, a full time job and serving as a bishop.  Finally with school done we would get some family time.  Time to mow the lawn and finish our projects and take the kids fishing and go on dates and go to the gym and ride bikes with the kids and read books that have been sitting on the shelf forever. NOPE!  It seems that the time Mark had previously spent studying got filled with church emergencies and activities or long work hours or sick kids.  I used to resist being busy, thinking it would just go away.  But by doing that, I just made things worse.  I didn't plan my days or my time and then I would forget stuff and being unprepared just takes twice as long.  So last year while Mark was in Portugal, I decided that I had to embrace my busy life and not fight against it.  At the time, I was doing everything all by myself and yet still got it done.  I bought this awesome calendar on amazon.com (http://www.amazon.com/2011-Knapps-Family-Organizer-calendar/dp/1402242549/ref=pd_sim_b_2) that I really don't know how I lived without.  Now, I am not some organized freak--far from it actually.  But I can at least now keep track of appointments and achievement nights and soccer practices and what not.  But I digress yet again.  What I am trying to say is that life does not slow down--at all, and the more you try to make it slow down, the faster it slips throught your fingers.  We are extremely busy people.  I don't over-schedule my kids though.  In fact they do not have any activities going on at the moment at all, yet we still run around like crazy.  It's all about balance and priority.  We have especially learned that since Mark has been the bishop because he could honestly spend all of his waking hours doing nothing but that.  We have learned to live busy lives.  We have learned that the house isn't always going to be clean or the lawn perfectly manicured or that we can't always go do what we want to.  But we put those things first that need to be done first.  I am definitely not perfect at prioritizing, especially when it comes to my own needs, but I try.  So when someone tells you that life only gets busier, take it from one who used to scoff--they're right!

Swim Time

I did something on Thursday that I had never done before.  I took all six of my kids swimming....by myself!  I had promised my kids that we were going, but a few people that were going to come with us backed out.  But I just didn't have the heart to tell my kids we couldn't go.  So we headed over to the community pool where I laid down my rules before we got out of the car.  I was nervous, but when I got there I realized that we were the only people there.  I had banned the lap pool which left me to watch the kiddie pool and the "beach" style pool where we usually spend most of our time.  I have these little floatie seats for the babies so I plopped them in there, and then got everyone else in.  We had a great time!  If I needed to help any of the other kids, I was able to just leave the babies with McKenna watching them and swim over to help out.  Some people showed up about 30 minutes later, which was a bit more distracting and harder to watch just my kids, but it worked out.  I am glad I didn't wimp out and then disappoint my kids by not going.  I just need to be braver and venture out more with my kids.  If I can keep track of them at a pool then I can probably do a lot more than I realize I am capable of.

Most Commonly Asked Question

I think the most common question I get from people is "how do you do it" or "how do you do it and stay sane"?  Well first off, I have never in my life claimed sanity--that ship sailed quite some time ago.  But my answer to the question is not very original nor life-changing; you just do it.  There is a reason children come to us one at a time (generally).  If all of my kids had been given to me at once, I don't think I could have done it.  I have learned one at a time.  The first two were fairly easy, #3 was a huge transition, and after that it has been a breeze.  You see, after three, things don't change much.  You are already doing things conveyor-belt style anyway.  I line up all the cups and bowls in the morning and just pour them all right in a row.  Same concept with bath time, getting dressed in the morning, and just about most other things.  Having twins has been a bit harder and had they been my first, I probably would be a lot crazier than I already am!  Having four other children really helped prepare me for having two at once.  It really is a line-upon-line process.  You adjust as your circumstances need you to.  It's not much different than any other aspect of change in our lives  Plus, I have really great kids so that is always a help!  I always feel badly when I ask people to babysit because six kids can be a lot to handle if you are not used to it.  Now taking care of that many people isn't necessarily easy, but do-able for me because that is my life.  So really the best advice I can give is don't let the number freak you out.  Do what you can, and when you feel like you can't handle anymore, then you know you are done.  I know people who have said they want 12 kids and when they start having them they stop at two or three.  And on the other end of the spectrum, people say I only want one or two but find themselves enjoying it so much that they keep having more.  My first baby was tough--colicky, grumpy and just all around tough.  My husband said no more kids, but I convinced him that we should try again.  We did and #2 was an angel.  And so it went.  With each one we found we could handle more and handle it better.  So again, do what you can and take it one kid at a time!

Really?

I get stopped A LOT when I go to the grocery store with all six of my kids.  The thing is, my kids are excellent in the store.  It's not like they are screaming or running all over the place.  But we are like a miniature parade coming through, especially because I have to use two carts, so we attract a lot of attention.  I was in Walmart the Saturday before Mother's Day this past year (not the smartest of days to go, I know).  It seemed like there were a million people in there and half of them stopped me to talk.  They were all positive comments so it wasn't a big deal, but our shopping trip was getting quite ridiculously long.  I was about half-way through with my shopping when another lady stopped me.  "These aren't all yours, are they?" she asked me.  I smiled as I usually do when I get asked that question and answered proudly "yep, all mine!"  Her response caught me off guard and left me bewildered really.  She looked at me and said "I'm sorry."  I wasn't sure how to respond at first, but I quickly said "well I'm not.  We have a lot of fun together."  I am not the quickest thinker on my feet, and as I have often thought about that conversation, a million different responses come to me--things I wish I would have said and other things that I'm glad I didn't say because they would have been quite rude to her.  But it just baffles me how it was the day before Mother's Day and there I was having a great time with my kids and someone would "apologize" for the fact that they were all mine.  I'm not sorry at all.  None of my kids were a "mistake" and I chose to have each and every one of them when I did.  Okay, so the whole twins thing wasn't planned, but you know what I mean.  When and how many children you have is a very personal decision.  I hope I never find myself judging other people's decisions about the timing and number of children they have.  So what would you have said and have you had any experiences like this?

Opportunities

I have been bothered all weekend by an opportunity that I let completely pass me by.  I had the chance to teach two of my daughters something, and I let it go.  The sad part was that I didn't even recognize it at the time.  Was it a life changing event for my kids?  No.  Would it have been fun and shown my kids know that I care about them?  Absolutely!  But I failed to see it and I am mad at myself for that.  McKenna wanted to show her friend how to take apart a crab for the crab meat.  She doesn't eat it, but she likes taking them apart.  Well they were making an absolute mess!  Every crab I picked up had been half torn apart and I was getting annoyed.  I told them to stop messing around and go play.  I was on edge because I had two grumpy babies, I was trying to keep an eye on all of my kids and still enjoy the evening, it was starting to rain and I was worried more about what other people thought than on doing what I thought was right for my kiddos.  I am not usually like that, but just so happened to be that day.  A bit later in the evening, Kaitlyn came up to the table and said she wanted to help with the crabs.  She proceeded to grab a knife and started stabbing the shell of the crab.  I told her to stop because she was ruining the crab.  She did it again about a minute later so I sent her to time out.  I am a horrible mother!  I completely missed the opportunity to put her up on my lap and show her how to do it right.  The thought didn't even pass through my mind.  I also made a mistake by sending McKenna away when she wasn't even doing anything wrong.  Just because I didn't like it doesn't mean she couldn't do it.  She was having a great time "helping" us and really enjoyed showing her friend how to do something new.  That is a big deal with McKenna and her fragile ego and me being the idiot I was that night, I am sure I bruised that ego a bit when I told her she was making a mess.  The learning experience that passed me by is something that I ultimately learned a great lesson from.  I can't be so busy, so uptight, so pre-occupied with the moment, so worried about what other people think, that i just neglect those small moments that really are what matter.  How much fun would Kaitlyn have had if I had just taken 5 minutes and shown her how to do it right?  It really has made me take a step back today and re-evaluate how I go through each day and my responses to my children's questions and pleas and actions.

Why?

Why a new blog?  Well I don't know really.  I have been thinking about it for a long time but just didn't really feel like doing it.  But I need a place to write down my everyday musings and things I am learning as a mom.  As a mother of 6, people always have something to either ask or say to me.  99% of it is usually positive.  I get a lot of moms asking for advice.  I do not mind answering them at all.  But this blog is going to be a place where I write these things down--probably mostly for my own learning.  As I look back on the previous day or week or whatever, I always have some "I wish I had....." when it comes to my kids.  I think we all do.  So this is for what I have learned and am learning as I go.  My kids aren't perfect, I'm not perfect.  And everyone has different children with different personalities.  So what works for me may not work for you.  And opinions on here are just that--opinions.  We all have them so let's recognize that fact and accept it.  I hope my ramblings don't bore you!  If there is anything you would like me to answer for you, feel free to ask!